I want candy

This is one of those scenarios where it aughta be quality or nothing at all. Who want s cheap-ass candy? Is it like those "Polex" watches you can buy in Chinatown? Can I buy a Kershey bar for 19 cents? And nothing satisfies me like an 11-cent Smickers bar. Five bags of W&Ws for a nickel? If I turn 'em upside down, it's just like the real thing! Only instead of milk chocolate, they're something called "nilk chocolate". Must be French! Sign me up!