The most disturbing thing I saw in New York.

And if you know me, you'll know why.

Fabulous Fifties

Look up "Damn cute" in your Webster's, and you'll find this right here: Me and my two roommates all dressed up for Richie Arpino's fiftieth birthday party at Anderpino Park. The theme was "Far From Heaven", but with all the free vodka flowing, we weren't far at all.

Victor vs. victim

In my previous post about getting in a fight, my roomie says I looked too victimized. But to be fair, Kris has a bit of a fetish for bruises and cuts, particularly of the facial type. So his basic criticism was that I looked beat up, but not sexy enough for his taste. So I took a pic today, just for my dear roomie. Hope it's more suitable.

In related news, we did a promotional event for the show this afternoon, and afterward I left my concealer on, just to take a day off from looking like Spudz McKenzie.

SHIT TO DO BEFORE I DIE #36 & 219

36. March in the New York Gay Pride Parade

219. Impersonate a Native American















Check











and check.

My buddy Joe was already planning to march in the New York Gay Pride Parade with the fine people of NESS, a wonderful organization dedicated to New York's GLBT Native American community. He asked me to come along. Seeing a chance to be cheered on by hundreds of thousands of homosexuals as I strolled with my distinctive stride down the middle of the street as I passed the Empire State Building, I was pretty thrilled.














You gotta love my presence in these photos. Talk about your red-headed stepchild.
But we threw condoms to the masses and they loved us.
One guy asked me if I was Native American, and I admitted I wasn't. So he asked me why I was marching with the Indians. I said, "Because they have the biggest dicks in the world."
I don't know if that's true, but he seemed satisfied.
Because apparently, so did I.

SHIT TO DO BEFORE I DIE #361

361. Get in a fistfight with a complete stranger in a foreign country.




Check.

My Mama and Rocks

My friend Erica was visiting my mother in Mississippi. Erica had just bought a Vespa, and managed to get it in her car. She says to my Mama, "Guess what's in the back of my car?"
Mama's response? "Is it rocks? I love rocks. What kind are they?"
This has now become our standard response to any query beginning with "Guess what...", like "Guess what my husband got me for our anniversary," or "Guess what I from Netflix today?"
"Is it rocks? I love rocks. What kind are they?"
All of this to say, my mother loves rocks, and my mother loves me, so when I thought about what photo from Ireland would bring her the most joy, I knew just what to do.
Me, with Irish rocks. She is probably shaking with joy looking at this.